First of all, I'm sorry I was such a dick to you.

I know you'll probably keep avoiding/ignoring me and not read this, but I felt like I needed to do this.

I have one friend right now. One. Only one person I can talk to about everything. Everyone else is gone because I'm an asshole that drives everyone away. Maybe I deserve this. Hell, I probably do. And it's only a matter of time before that one person is gone too.

I thought, and really, still do, think of you as family. You've always been there for me despite what I've put you through. That in itself is pretty amazing. I never thought doing what I did last night would upset you so much. I suppose I'm too much of a self centered egotistical fuck to notice how my actions affect other people. And it kills me inside to say this because you're so important to me, but I guess you have every right to hate me and never want to talk to me again.

And if you are reading this, I probably just wasted a crapload of your time going on about my worthless feelings. I'm sorry for that too.